Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Our Tollywood shooting star Balayya ( Bala Krishna )is travelling in a flight and happens to get a seat beside no other than Tom hanks himself. but Balayya doesnt know that he is Tom Hanks. their conversation goes like this
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NBK: hello. (smiles and shakes his head)
Tom Hanks: hi, how do u do
NBK: great. i am returning from nandeeswarudu shooting in LA
Tom Hanks: really ? cool. i am an actor myself
NBK: i am a great actor
Tom Hanks: says who
NBK: myself
Tom Hanks: (blank face) Good for you. they say i am a good actor too. i won a couple oscars also.
NBK: i won a couple vamsee berkeley awards
Tom Hanks: i can see that
NBK: my father was greatest actor in the world Tom Hanks: (surprised) dont tell me you are paul newman s only son
NBK: i am tenth son of NTR
Tom Hanks: who is NTR
NBK: he is the greatest actor in the world
Tom Hanks: wow and all these days i was wondering if that would be paul newman or peter sellers. can you name a movie of your father s ?
NBK: superman
Tom Hanks: now you confuse me. i thought christopher reeves was superman
NBK: acting is in my blood
Tom Hanks: interesting. i have haemoglobin in my blood
NBK: my father was a great actor
Tom Hanks: youve said that before
NBK: ok. theres not much more to talk for me
Tom Hanks: i would love to see some of your work
NBK: (pulls a vhs out of his bag) here watch this
Tom Hanks: what is it
NBK: its my latest movie seema simham .. which means lion of the area
Tom Hanks: interesting. what is it about
NBK: it is about two friends. one of them kills the others kid. now the other guy wants to kill this guys kid. but the fact is that this one s kid becomes the
other one s kid and in the end they have the same kid.
Tom Hanks: (turning towards air hostess) can i be moved to a different seat please
NBK: (smiles and shakes head)


After conversation with balaiah he moved to a another seat in the same flight and it happens to be a next seat of Jr.NTR. EVen Jr.Ntr doesn t that his Tom Hanks
Their conversation goes like this:


Tom Hanks: I couldn t belive that guy was saying his father NTR was the greatest actor in the world.
Jr.NTR: Nandamuri TAraka Rama RAo, NTR, is the greatest actor in the world and my babai (uncle) is next to him
Tom Hanks (with a surprise): Who are you?
Jr.NTR: I am the true successor of the great legend NTR.
Tom Hanks: Anyway, who are you???
Jr.NTR: NTR is my tata garu: it means his my grand father. He is always with me even though he is in the heaven. MY babai....
Tom Hanks: (cuts his conversation and says) Oh God, are you also an actor?
Jr.NTR: Yes, Even though my babai doesn t talk to me his blessing are always with me. His movies are inspired me. My babai and my tata ..
Tom Hanks: (again ineterrupts his talk and he doesnt want to talk anymore about movies and he wants to shift the conversation to something else) ARe you married?
Jr.NTR: NO, but, I fell in love with the beautiful girl in the world.
Tom Hanks with a surprise looks) dont tell me you are in love with Kournikova
Jr.NTR: No, I am in love with Aarti agarwal
Tom Hanks: Who is she?
JR.NTR : you dont know her (surprise in his face). She is pretty, I cannot explain it you. But, I promised my mom and to the industry people that I never propose her to marry me.
Tom Honks: Why?
Jr.NTR: They think it spoils my carrer.
Tom Hanks: Dont say that Holly wood industry said to you like that
Jr.NTR: NO Tollywood industry. My tata and my babai are responsible for raising of tollywood industry to this level. MY babai acted in two great movies. He really inspired me......
Tom Honks ( angry, frustrated and cuts his bajana and asks): what is your name?
Jr.NTR: NTR, my mother put this name because my tata and my babai......
Tom Hanks is so confused and ready to get down of that flight at next stop because the next available empty seat is besides no other than Mr.Nandamuri
Tarakaratna.......... time goes on


Nuvvu T-shirt and short vesukoni velte....adi Yenda kaalam
Nuvvu godugu teesi kelte....adi vaana kaalam
Nuvvu sweater vesukoni velte...adi chali kaalam
....
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Nuvvu balakrishna cinema chuste .....neeku poye kaalam..
If balakrishna was a software engineer, his dialoges:


1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav...

2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa... Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte... raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara... raa ra

3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra...

4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.

5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare ... choosukundam

Balakrishna has been the target for many net users for unknown reasons. It is 'reasonless-hatred' that's mounting on the star. And as many say 'popularity is sin', even Balakrishna is facing that but in bigger dose when compared to that of his colleagues.

The jokes and parodies those are circulating against Balakrishna are highly condemnable, be it for fans or for any sane human beings. Right from the release time of 'Allari Pidugu' to 'Veerabhadra' the circulation of jokes on him was very big and hurting the sentiments of many. Now with the outset of his political entry, the net-sadists are once again showing their might of spreading badly about the star and making him a clown for nothing.

One such going around is the 'Pokiri Parody' on Balakrishna.

Ileana: Em chestuntaru meeru,

Balaiah: Mari antha gattiga adigite em cheptaam. Nuvvem anukuntunnav?

Ileana: Ante... age ayipoyi cinemalu lekunda kali kali ga tiruguthu verri chupulu chusukuntu tirige bandodu anukunna....

balaiah: correct manamadhe...

Ileana: kaaligane unnav ga panikochche panulu cheyochu ga...

balaiah : kaali ga evadunnadu. Dabbuliste emaina chesta...

Ileana: emaina ante?

balaiah: ippudu flop cinemalu free ga chesaga, mamuluga aithe dabbulu tisukuni chestha...

Ileana: endukala?

.............

And so goes the rest of the joke. While the stars are themselves close friends with one another, the fans seem to have no love lost between them sprewing hatred across at every chance.











నా బూతో! నా భవిష్యత్!!!!

Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna to a chair. Those idiots didn't know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by a simple chair.

Here is our hero's brother. The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach. The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls. Hee. Hee. Hee.

Balakrishna sees some bullet shells lying on the floor. This means that the baddies had a gun. But they decided to use a time-bomb to give the 'finishing touch'. This is what i call 'Innovative Thinking'.



The shells trigger an idea in Balakrishna's brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea. He throws himself on the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells.



Now, lets have a look at the time-bomb. The timer (presumably a pager covered in plastic) is ticking. See the weird buttons on the bomb? The red button is the 'On' button and the green one is to switch it Off! Now, this is the world's first time-bomb with such convenient on-off buttons. This is what i call a 'user-friendly Time-bomb'. Very easy to handle. Can be used even by infants.



Coming back to our hero, he is struggling to reach the shells. Look at his expression. Seems like he's desperate to use the toilet!



He concentrates with the shell between his teeth. Look at the sweat on his face. Gives an impression of how hard he is concentrating. With all his strength, he spits the bullet shell towards the bomb.



Lo and behold! The shell flies like a bullet through the air. Credit goes to Balakrishna here. He has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet. He can be a good asset to the Indian army. The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the green button! The time-bomb gets switched off! Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!



Watch the whole thing in slow motion again!



That's it friends. Balakrishna has proved that he is better than our Olympics shooting medal winner, R. S. Rathore. He has even shocked Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi who were thought to be pioneers in such things. The latest buzz is that R. S. Rathore, Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi have started training under Balakrishna. Hats off to Balakrishna, the pioneer among pioneers! A true Miracle Man!!











Sunday, April 26, 2009

నా కొత్త కుక్క పిల్ల

hi

నేను -- నా బద్ధకం.

అసలే ఎండాకాలం .సీ. ఉన్నప్పటికీ ఏదో చిరాకుగా వుంది. మా అమరావతి కి రోజు 5:30 నుంచి 7:30 వరకు కరెంట్ ని తలారి ఉరిశిక్ష వేసినంత కటినంగా తీసేస్తాడు. కాని నాకు బద్ధకం వల్ల ఏమంత బాధగా వుండదు. కాని రోజు మాత్రం చాల చిరాకుగా పడుకున్ననాకు కరెంట్ పోగానే బాంబు పేలితే ఎంత వులిక్కి పడతామో అలా ఉదయాన్నే దోమలు బాగా కుడుతుంటే లేచి చూసా నా రక్తాన్ని మెరెండా తాగుతున్నట్టు తాగుతున్న దోమల్ని ఒక్కసారి విదిలించి బయటకి వెళ్లి బద్ధకంగా వొళ్ళు విరిచుకొని చూస్తే నేను ఎప్పుడు చూడని ఒక సీనరీ చూసా. అదే పొద్దున్నే వుండే ప్రకృతి అందం.నాకు చాలా ఆశ్చర్యం గా అనిపించింది. ఏమిటి ఇలా కూడా ప్రకృతి మాత వుంటదా? అని చిన్న కాదు కాదు పెద్ద డౌట్ వచ్చింది. నాకు ఇంకొక నెలలో సీ.. ఎగ్జామ్స్ అయినా కూడా .సీ. పెట్టుకొని లేట్ గా లేచే వాడిని కదా అందుకే అంత ఆశ్చర్యం.ఇంతలో




ఒకరు నా తలుపు తట్టారు.


నేను: ఎవరు మీరు?

అవతలి కంఠం : నేను ఎప్పుడు నీతో పాటే వుంటా నన్నే మరచి పోయావా?
నేను: క్షమించండి నాకు గుర్తు రావట్లేదు.

అవతలి కంఠం: నేనే నీ బద్దకాన్ని.

నేను : సారీ మరచిపోయా!





అని చాప, దిండు తెచ్చుకొని మా పెద్ద పెరటి లో ఒక మూల చతికిలపడ్డా కాని ఇక్కడో ప్రాబ్లం . అవే చీమలు అవి ఎక్కడెక్కడో కుడుతుంటే నాకు ఎక్కడెక్కడో కాలుతుంది. మళ్ళి లేచి నా చాపని,దిండుని,బద్దకాన్ని విదిలించి. ఒక చీపిరి తీసుకొచ్చి మొత్తం చిమ్మాను, హమ్మయ్య! అనుకోని మళ్ళి పడుకున్నా, మళ్ళి ఇంకొందరు ఎగిరే చుట్టాలు వచ్చారు మీరు వూహించినట్లే దోమలు. చెవిలో జుయ్ జుయ్ అని సౌండ్ చేస్తుంటే SAI-67 గన్ తీసుకొచ్చి చంపాలన్నంత కోపం వచ్చింది. కాని అలాంటివి లేకపోవటం వల్ల అవి బ్రతికిపోయి నా ప్రాణాలు తీస్తున్నాయి.తొందరగా కరెంట్ వస్తే బాగున్ను లోపలికి వెళ్లి పడుకోవచ్చు అనుకున్నా. కాని కాలం కలసి రాకపోతే దారానికి సూది లోకువ అన్నట్టు ( సారీ సామెత అంతగా సరి పోయినట్లు లేదు ఈసారికి ఇలా సరిపెట్టుకోండి.) కరెంట్ పీకేవాడు కూడా ఇవ్వాల్సిన సమయానికి ఇవ్వలేదు, కుక్క ఎంత అలెర్ట్ గా మాటిమాటికి లేచి యజమానిని చుసుకుంతుందో అంత అలెర్ట్ గా కరెంట్ వచ్చిందో లేదో చూసుకునే సరికి నా వొంట్లో ప్రాణం తుంట్లో కి వచ్చింది.ఇల్లు పెరటి కి కాస్త దూరమవడం వల్ల కరెంట్ వచ్చిందో లేదో తెలుసుకునే సరికి నా సగం బద్ధకం వదిలింది.ఇంతలో మంచి నిద్రలోకేల్లాను. అంతలోనే టింగ్ టింగ్ టింగ్ అని ఎవడో నవత డ్రైవర్ వచ్చి బెల్ కొట్టాడు ,నాన్న గుడికి వెళ్ళాడు రోజు శనివారం కదా! అమరావతి అమరేశ్వర స్వామీ కి అభిషేకం చేయిపిద్దామని వాడు అలా కొడుతుండే సరికి ముప్పావు బద్ధకం వదిలింది. వాడికి జ్వరమొచ్చ్చి డ్రైవింగ్ కి వెళ్ళటం లేదంట FAX పంపాలని వచ్చాడు. ఎలాగోలా నా సొంత తెలివి తేటలు యూజ్ చేసి చేసేసరికి మొత్తం బద్ధకం వదిలింది. వాడికి ఒక దణ్ణం పెట్టి నా బద్దకం వదిలించటానికి పరోక్షం గా సహాయం చేసినందుకు ఇంకో దణ్ణం పెట్టి.పోస్ట్ టైపు చేస్తున్నాను.ఇప్పుడు టైం ఎంతయ్యిందో తెలుసా? 8:25 ఏ.యం. .ఇంక వుంటానండి. మీతో మాట్లాడుతుంటే ఎంత సేపయినా వుండాలనిపిస్తుంది. కాని నేనింకా బ్రష్ చేసుకోలేదు. అయిన ఏమి ఫీల్ అవకండి. కాలమ్ ని ఎప్పుడు క్లిక్ చేస్తూ వుండండి .ఇలాంటి పోస్ట్ లు ముందు ముందు చాలా దర్శనం ఇస్తుంటాయి.

ఇట్లు మీ ఫ్రెండ్
Free Signature Generator

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Saturday, April 25, 2009

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-International Accounting Body


IFAC -International Federation of Accountants


IASB -International Accounting Standards Board


CAPA -Confederation of Asian and Pacific Accountants


SAFA -The South Asian Federation of Accountants

INTERNATIONAL ACCOUNTING BODY
KNOW ABOUT INDIA/ OTHERS
NEWS
INDIAN GOVERNMENT
BANKING / INSURANCE
SECURITY AND EXCHANGES
ACCOUNTANCY INSTITUTES ACROSS THE WORLD
EDUCATION

Thursday, April 23, 2009